Next in the list of red wine’s superpowers: it may help fight deafness. Free radicals are in part responsible for degeneration of the tiny hairs of the inner ear that are responsible for hearing. Wine’s antioxidants may help slow that process, some scientists think.

And because it’s the magic powers of antioxidants we’re talking about here, yerba mate may well have the same effect. I think it’s time for a gourdfull now, my ears are ringing.