Y’see, It’s not spying if we just happen to keep track of every number which everybody in the United States calls. Because, see, we don’t know who’s at that number. Well, we do, because we can look that up. But we don’t know what you’re saying. Well, we do, because we recorded that. But we’re not listening, what, do you think we’re actually going to listen to all your inane billions of minutes of chatter? Hell no, we have computers that will do that.

So no, we’re not spying, the computers are. Dick, check me on this, computers aren’t officially government employees yet, are they? No, I know, I saw that movie too. They tell me that wasn’t real. So listen, folks, computers aren’t covered by the law. This isn’t some kind of wild science fiction movie here. It’s real life, and we can tell the computers to do whatever they want us to do. Which is make sure you’re not reading the news, or watching the news, except for Fox.